I don’t understand all of the hype of Pokémon Go.
I had a Pikachu stuffed toy and keychain that were given to me as gifts when I was younger, but that was about it. I never even watched the TV series.
For the sake of seeing what all the chaos was about, I downloaded it on my iPhone. I created my character and then it positioned me via my GPS.
At first glance, there were 3 right outside of my apartment complex, but the location looked more like the landing runway at LAX with the 405 and 105 Freeways running in the background, which is over an hour south of where I live.
I never moved from my couch and quickly deleted the app.
Then all of the crazy news started coming in and I asked myself, were the Pokémon Go creators even considering the risk factors in all of this? Even with the disclaimer at the beginning, the warning still isn’t enough for some people!
So from reading all of the recent news, these are the “awesome” benefits of Pokémon Go (notice my sarcasm):
1. It can help you solve crime. To catch a thief! The police officers don’t need their instincts or sniffing dogs anymore, they have Pokémon players! Like these 3 women in San Diego who came across a dead body in a park. I also love this article from Atlas Obscura about “Why Pokémon Players are Going to Keep Finding Dead Bodies.”
2. It will lead you to the police department.
Especially if you have a warrant out for your arrest, like this guy in Detroit. There are also people who assemble at police departments for a Pokémon Go Gym, which is a virtual place where characters assemble to train and do battle. Well, the police department hosts a good spot for that, since they are trained for combat!
No need to recruit new police officers, which is probably why the San Diego Police were blasting the Pokémon theme song to encourage people to help them. Saves the city some money too!
3. Self inflicted injuries. Is it really worth the risk trying to capture Jirachi or Meowth? Like these men in San Diego, who got distracted and fell off a cliff trying to catch a Pokémon. Or this guy in Oregon, who crashed into a tree.
SMH. Safety first people!
4. It will lead you to your neighbor’s backyard.
This poor guy in Texas had his wooden fence damaged from the players. Side note: This is also a chance for the guard dog to finally get some action.
Then you have writers from the New York Times saying how playing the game can help you connect with your cities and neighbors in a positive way.
5. You might get held up a gunpoint, stabbed or robbed. Like these players in LA who got attacked in a park, another man was stabbed in Orange County or better yet, the robbers in San Francisco who wanted to steal these teen sibling’s iPhones…for what, to snatch up more Pokémon?!
People: why the hell are you playing this game in the middle of the night when it’s crawling with more bad guys than Pokémon?!
6. It will make you nutty. Ok: who goes to Central Park in the middle of the night to catch this thing, a Vaporeon…and a swarm of people no less?!
Or what about the people who went to the Santa Monica Pier to catch this one, a Squirtle?!
The sea creature ones are obviously worth more points…but remember how I mentioned above that the bad guys lurk at night?!
And the best and only positive benefit of all….
7. It can help you lose weight.
With all of the walking, you are guaranteed to get your body into shape. I love this article from Lifehacker about “How Much Pokémon Go You’d Have to Play in Order to Lose Weight.” I’d still rather go to the gym. You can also read an awesome article from Positive Health Wellness about the “12 Surprising Health Benefits of Playing Video Games.”
So for all of you exercise craving, crime solving, future players out there who might get injured, may the Pokémon force be with you!